Notes On Courtship And Marriage

by JAMES BLAIR, Vancouver, British Columbia | Category: General | Jun 1944

As we approach a subject like this, 1 Peter 4.8, comes to mind, -

"The time past may suffice to have wrought the desire of the Gentiles." Declension and departure from God have always been followed by moral standards, among men and women. When we consider the commendation of Timothy by Paul in Philippians 2.20, and then notice Paul's exhortation to him in 1 Timothy 4.12; 5.2, and ,22, it behoves us to keep a watchful eye on our behaviour in general. The words purity and pure are specially worthy of consideration in these Scriptures, as they have the sense of chastity or modesty.

As to courtship, shall we suggest the case of Jacob and Rachel is the first we have record of, and while we have little actual information

as to how they went about it, one things stands out plainly-Jacob's constancy. A wealth of information may be learned from Genesis 29.20: "Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her."

Song of Songs might well be studied in this respect, as the two persons concerned are there set forth as completely absorbed in each other. What might we not draw from this remarkable portrayal of human love, albeit it is here to lead us to something higher. Coming to the New Testament we have there the supreme example m the actions of the Lord Himself. Think of the parable of the pearl then the fuller revelation of the same thing in Ephesians 5

" Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself up for it"

Polygamy in courtship (if we may use the term) we suggest, is as foreign to the mind of God as it is in marriage and whether in court ship or in marriage, is likely to leave broken hearts in its tram the opposite of what God intended As we view the world in its attitude to these things, no wonder the law courts are so much taken up with breach of, promise and divorce suits Without any serious consideration young men and women start walking out together and it may be are entirely absorbed in each other for a time. Then some little incident occurs and because there is no glue in their compact (Ephesians 5. 31, and kindred uses of this word), or because it may be only one sided, or if one of the parties become enamoured with a new face, they are separated.

The evil arising out of this careless attitude lies in the fact, that one of the parties may be sincere to begin with, or their close companionship may develop a real regard in one of the two hearts that really should be beating as one, but because of the wrong foundation to start with, when the break does come, it is the genuine, not, the careless, lover that suffers.

The present day worldly advice to, young people to help them escape this, is not to tie themselves up to one, make dates (as they use the term) with lots of the opposite sex, have a good run around before you tie yourself up to anyone in particular. This advice is certainly being carried out in these days, and one may well think, the rebellion against the marriage yoke, and the desire for a change of mates seen so much in evidence, are but a carry over from the run around behaviour of pre-marriage days. Thus, following present day

advice, present day courtship and marriage often present - a sad spectacle of broken hearts and ruined homes.

No sensitive heart can contemplate such a sad state of affairs, and not be affected by it,. and we might well turn away from the world where such a sordid state of things exists, and seek relief for our grieved spirits, contemplating a different condition of things among the people of God. "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in the evil one" (1 John 5.19). This really explains to us why such conditions obtain in the world, as also the difference between the world and those who are of God. But is there the difference there -should be?

Happily, in these days, there is surely a vast difference in the marriage relations of the people of God from those of the world. As yet, we look upon marriage as an "until death do us part" affair. Will this happy condition of things continue, or are we not in danger of letting this God-ordered and God-ordained condition slip from us, by allowing a lax and careless condition o f courtship to find a place among us?

As far as the Scriptures regarding marriage are concerned we are not left in doubt. As to courtship it may be otherwise, yet I suggest there are quite a few scriptures that would indicate God's mind as to this period. In this as in all else, while in some cases we -may sec something of constancy. and faithfulness, they all fall far short of tie .example set by the Lord Himself. He set His love upon one single -object, made up His mind to possess it for Himself alone, "Went and sold all that He bath," and possessed for Himself the pearl.

Shall we instruct our young men and women, that, in this as in all else, He has left us an example that we should follow His steps. Thus would our testimony be more effective in the work, while many broken hearts and blasted hopes would be averted.

As "love is of God" it surely calls for the love affairs of His people being gone about in a godly way (Philippians 4.8)..

"From the dateless, timeless periods

He has loved us without cause,

And for all His blood bought myriads

His Is love that knows no pause.

Matchless Lover ! - Matchless Lover!

Changeless as the eternal laws."

JAMES BLAIR, Vancouver, British Columbia | Jun 1944
General