Marriage

by Toms, A. F. | Category: Family Life | Jun 1992

Family life begins with marriage, and the idea of marriage began in the heart of God. It was one of His precious gifts to the first man and woman and it continues to be one of His greatest gifts to us.

There comes with it an intimacy of love and a sharing together physically, mentally and spiritually which is unique to the marriage bond and which God intends for our highest good. It is a wonderful thing when two lives are blended together in a desire to live for one another's well-being, for the help of others and to the glory of God. Peter puts it succinctly when he describes a man and his wife as "joint-heirs of the grace of life" (1 Pet. 3:7).

Satan has perverted the idea of marriage to such a degree that what is presented to the world through its media bears little resemblance to what God first planned for the good of His creatures. Satan's intention of course is to undermine family life and to lead as many as he can into paths of sin. So we invite you to examine with us once again what the Bible says about this lovely and holy ordinance.

The first marriage took place in Eden's garden and at the time God said:

It is not good that the man shouted be alone; I will make him an help meet for him... And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from the man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man (Gen.

2:18, 21-23).

The first marriage was ordained by God, and He Himself conducted the ceremony. It was beautiful in its simplicity. And the statement that follows the above quotation demands our most careful attention. The words were repeated by the Lord Jesus and quoted by the apostle Paul, emphasizing to us the importance of them, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (v.24). Leave, cleave and one flesh these are the key-words of the verse and they contain vital teaching about marriage.

Marriage should be publicly known and recognized. Legal requirements vary from country to country, but in every land and in every culture it is

usual for marriage to be conducted publicly before relatives and friends. And usually it is marked by the couple leaving their parents' homes and setting up a home of their own. From that time a man is to cleave unto his wife, and that word 'cleave' is a strong word. It carries the thought of 'gluing together' and there is no doubt that God's intention has always been that marriage is for the whole of life. Divorce is something God hates. "I hate putting away, saith the LORD, the God of Israel" (Mal. 2:16). He made provision for it under certain circumstances for His people in the Old Testament, but that was only because of the hardness of their hearts. The marriage bond is for all our lifetime, and happy are the man and woman who accept it as such, and by ordering their lives according to God's Word enjoy in the marriage relationship all the blessings that God intended to bring.

The key-words unfold to us something of what God intends in marriage. While the decree "they shall be one flesh" relates primarily to the physical relationship in marriage, that oneness should also be evident in sharing together in every other sphere of life: in the daily duties that fill our lives, and above all in the spiritual realm, when spirits make contact with God in heaven. Marriage covers all this when a man and his wife order their lives by God's Word.

In the physical union there is an expression of love which is very special. It is one of God's gifts and He intended it to give great pleasure. But is allowed only within the marriage bond. About this God's Word is absolutely plain. Satan has exploited sexual desire, and we live in a world of increasing permissiveness, when men and women, young and old, are stealing the joys of marriage outside of the marriage bond. They are stealing its pleasures without accepting its responsibilities; at least they think they are! In actual fact in many cases it rebounds on them with unspeakable sorrow, and often on others also.

Who can assess the fearful sadness in a home when the father or mother is attracted to another partner and goes away leaving spouse and children weeping their hearts out because they have been forsaken? And what about young people who disregard God's Word and engage in sex before marriage? We all know that marriage commenced on that basis is on a very shaky foundation, and doubtless it is one reason why so many end up in the divorce courts. Let us be very clear about it; sex before marriage is fornication, and between married persons outside of the marriage bond it is adultery. God's Word is as plain as it could possibly be

Let marriage be had in honour among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Heb. 13:4).

These sins are very common today but that does not make them any less serious. The world has its own ideas and presents them strongly and persistently, but we must not be deceived by this. Long ago when Isaiah was prophesying, men were calling good evil, and evil good. They were putting bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. In other words, they were saying the opposite of what God was saying. But God was proved right every time, and so it is still. God is our Maker and by His rules we must live if we want our lives to be blessed and happy. Let's stand firmly and unflinchingly for the truth of God's Word in all that affects our family life' 'and in so doing we shall save both ourselves and those whose lives are influenced by our example.

Toms, A. F. | Jun 1992
Family Life